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Single and Lonely? Ready to Re-Enter the Dating Pool But Worried It’ll Be a Shock? Why Not Let Rhonda the Maven Show You How to Start Dating Again?

March 15, 2009 by  
Filed under Blog, Dating, Relationships & Family

Are you out of touch with the dating scene?

Note from Anne:

As you are no doubt aware, every day, thousands of Baby Boomers suddenly wake up to find themselves single, and – unfortunately  – feeling like you’re totally out of touch with the dating scene.

To help you start dating again, so that you can rediscover the joys of a full social life, I’ve asked an expert, Rhonda Cort, a.k.a. “Rhonda the Maven,” to write this guest post on how to re-enter the dating pool. Whether you just want to dip your toe into the social scene, or you’re ready to dive in – total immersion-style –  she’s got the experience to help assure your water wings are working and your dive won’t end with an unpleasant “belly flop…”

Rhonda’s an entrepreneur who’s been lucky enough to have spent the last 10+ years, living, working – and dating – internationally.

In true entrepreneurial fashion – as in “find a need and fill it” – she’s turned her knowledge and experience into a business, becoming a mentor and speaker whose expertise is helping fabulous women (and some very special men)  not only start dating again, but actually make quantum leaps on the social scene.

Rhonda know how to take your personal life from “fizzle” to “SIZZLE”  –

As she puts it:

  • “I have been living a juicy life in various countries around the world (Italy and Sweden are two of my favorites).”
  • “This time has been full of nothing but memorable moments enjoying fantastic relationships and dating great men of various nationalities, races and cultural backgrounds.”
  • “As a result, my passion and mission are to help you become magnetically attractive to the quality men and women YOU want to date within 90 days.”
  • “In fact, if you are as motivated as some of my clients have been, this could happen within just weeks — not months or years!”

Clearly Rhonda has a unique point of view and a reservoir of wisdom that helps her connect with her clients on many levels. So take it away, Rhonda!

How to Re-enter the Dating Pool — Without Shock

By Rhonda the Maven

The good thing about dating in your midlife is that you are clear (or should be) on what you want, what you like and who you are. There is a silent strength and poise about you that the 20-somethings and 30-somethings secretly envy. Don’t ask ’em though–they’d never admit it.

However, you have probably been out of the dating pool for some time-maybe just a few years for some and perhaps decades for others. With all the life experience you have, nothing can prepare you for re-entering the pool and taking that first swim.

So whether you want to dip your toe or dive in all at once, there are a few things I’d like to share with you – I want your first swim to be in water that is warm, comfy and inviting.

I’ve been in the dating pool, off and on, for the last few years myself.  I understand it can be pretty intimidating, especially if all you’ve heard are disaster stories one after the other.  However, you should try to be objective.  How will you find a new friend or that special new companion if you don’t get in the pool-online or off? I know…I know you’re concerned about your safety, but once you have the know-how there is no need to worry.

Let me help you avoid the ‘cold water’ shock and the struggle so many Baby Boomers experience when it comes to testing the dating waters again. Remember, you should take time to prepare yourself BEFORE you take that dive or dip your toes in the pool.

Don’t waste time swimming in circles! Hurry go get a pen and paper.  Jot down the 2 vital points I’m about to reveal.  They will literally determine if your love life sinks or swims!

1. Get help.

This is of vital importance as it’s infinitely harder to reach goals solo. There will be days when you need encouragement.  So get a like-minded positive friend to help you or a personal mentor.  Your success rate can only SKYROCKET when you do so.

Here are some things a great mentor will help you address:

  • Getting crystal clear about what you want and what you don’t want.
  • Overcoming obstacles or issues that stand in the way of your success.
  • Putting together a step-by-step action plan based on your comfort zone.
  • Inspiring you, keeping you on track and lifting you up when you are low.
  • Providing wisdom to help you get the best out of your dating experience and help you avoid unnecessary pitfalls.

2. As you start dating again, your dating, love or friendship action-plan should be S.M.A.R.T.

  • Specific. You need to specifically and clearly state what you want. Why? Because until you do that, the people you attract will be random and not at all what you want.
  • Measurable. You need to know when you’ve reached your love life goals. You could have a goal to just go out on one great date every 2 weeks or to meet a wonderful new companion within 6 months or so. It’s okay to set measurable goals; they motivate you to take action.
  • Action-oriented. This is where most people fall short. Don’t be one of them. If you want to go out on wonderful dates…you’ve got to DO something to attract them. So you need to figure out what that is, how you’re going to do it and when.
  • Realistic. You have a dream or desire you want to achieve, right? Well it’s great to push outside your comfort zone, but at the same time they need to be reachable. Otherwise, you set yourself up for disappointment.
  • Timely. Are these desires you have in sync with your current needs in life? Only when you feel it’s time to achieve them and you truly want them, will you do whatever it takes to obtain them.

This information has saved people I’ve worked with from wasting precious time with incompatible people, timewasters and bad dates! Following these two points will greatly increase your chances of finding a wonderful new partner or friend who suits you in less time.  It may sound a bit technical, but nothing beats a little preparation.

I would love to hear your feedback and any questions you may have. Write me at: RhondaTheMaven @ gmail.com

Wishing you a warm dive… or a pleasant dip!

Rhonda the Maven

P.S. If you are serious about successfully getting back in the dating pool to find a friend or a loving partner, I have something very special, just for you…
Visit: Dynamic Daters

Comments

69 Responses to “Single and Lonely? Ready to Re-Enter the Dating Pool But Worried It’ll Be a Shock? Why Not Let Rhonda the Maven Show You How to Start Dating Again?”

  1. shilpy@passiveincome on June 6th, 2010 4:31 am

    Dating world is like the share-market, like in the market whenever you wish to sell a stock, there’s always someone there to buy. In the dating world also , whenever you find yourself single, there will always be someone ready to mingle. So one should never loose heart, its never too late.

  2. Alan @ DJ Headphones on June 25th, 2010 10:35 am

    Like a lot of things, the first time is the hardest. It’s like “dating inertia” — so hard to get going, but once you try it’s really not nearly as hard as you expected. These are great tips overcoming the inertia. Thanks!

  3. John from DVD Duplication Services London on August 6th, 2010 9:50 am

    I absolutely agree with your point of view. And I found your post very helpful, especially to women who’s interested about dating. I like the topic about the S.M.A.R.T. thing, it is cool and so true!

  4. Rhonda Cort on August 23rd, 2010 3:39 pm

    “Dating inertia”, love it! It’s so true though. If you don’t get started, waiting won’t make it any easier. Here’s a quote I love:

    “The greatest thief this world has ever known is procrastination and he is still at large!” – Henry Wheeler Shaw

    Glad to see the post continues to help people 🙂

    Rhonda Cort
    @MagneticWoman

  5. Mark @ Mystery Shopping on August 27th, 2010 8:15 pm

    Having previously been a dating coach, I know exactly how difficult it is for some people (both men and women!) to re-enter the dating scene. It’s generally just a lack of self confidence, and all most people need is to get some initial success and they will find it makes them almost invincible. Informative article – thanks!

  6. TJ McDowell@St Louis Photographer on December 28th, 2010 4:28 pm

    As a photographer, I’d like to suggest that one great thing you can do to help any dating profiles you have would be to have a great headshot. They’re usually pretty inexpensive, and can make sure that you’re showing an up to date picture and also putting your best foot forward.

  7. Jack@Understanding Women on July 22nd, 2011 5:37 am

    Getting back into dating can be intimidating but great fun too! All those lonely men and women need to get together and live life to the full. Yeah…

  8. Bryce Collins@ Dating Tips for Men on August 22nd, 2011 2:34 pm

    Getting back into the dating scene can be really frightening for a lot of singles. I have found that some people would rather stay single; avoiding the dating scene all together. They tell me it’s just not worth their time and energy. For some, the fear of rejection keeps them from adventuring out beyond their comfort zone. They no longer want to search in loud night clubs or other trendy gatherings.
    Many baby boomers are turning to online dating to meet a friend for a movie, or to find their soul mate. Online dating is less intimidating and can be started from the comforts of home. So, get out there and discover the possibilities!

  9. Donna Marie Thompson on September 6th, 2011 5:51 pm

    As a relationship coach myself, I think your article provides some great action items for any baby boomer looking to re-enter the dating pool.

    One thing that I would echo and highly recommend would be getting the support of those around you, to help you out, provide you the confidence you need, and to be your sounding board in the scary and sometimes confusing world of dating.

  10. Dan@Fresno Auto Show on September 15th, 2011 3:55 pm

    Great tips, thanks for sharing.

    I think that expectation is the root of all frustration. If a person sets out to find friends of the opposite sex without expectations of forming a dating relationship the stress will be reduced.

    Think about it if you want to meet people of theopposite sex to date then the best way to start is make friends with people who know a lot of people like the ones you are looking for. In other words, a guy looking to meet a woman can begin by making friends with some women who can introduce him to other women.

  11. John@Try Out Online Dating on September 17th, 2011 7:47 am

    Hi Ronda,

    Great advice for anyone who has been out of the dating pool for some time.

    But like you said the older single should have a good idea of who they are and what they want in a partner. All you need to do is get your confidence about dating back and get out there and find someone.

  12. Tilly Read@Email Marketing Software on November 9th, 2011 12:59 pm

    Nice post Rhonda. You have just given courage to those who are singles to go back to the dating scene again without fear. Thank you so much for sharing such informative blog.

  13. Kate Moran@Payment Protection Insurance on November 17th, 2011 2:39 am

    Hi Rhonda,

    People in their midlife are kind of afraid to date or try to get one in fear of being rejected. I knew some people like that in the past. I like this article of yours. It is written simply but it really has a deep thought and an impact that is sure to change someone’s life in the dating scenario.

    Thanks for sharing.

  14. Ray @ Singles Dating on December 22nd, 2011 7:18 pm

    The rules seem to always be changing when it comes to first dates. What may have been done twenty years ago may seem dated and out of touch in today’s modern world. But displaying good manners on a date remains consistent in any year. It is important to treat your date with respect and to be genuinely interested in what they have to say.

  15. Matt@Muslim Dating Site on February 11th, 2012 12:59 am

    I love that articles like these are starting to pop up more and more around the place. Of COURSE Boomers can re-enter the dating pool! It’s long overdue if I say so myself. I’m a proud Muslim member of Gen Y and I’ve forever thought that age or creed should never act as a ‘cut off point’ for anyone when it comes to finding love!

    Get out there and have a ball, I say!

    Matt

  16. sex in the city gifts on March 12th, 2012 4:21 am

    Try Facebook.com, if you don’t already have one, they have little apps that are meant just for dating. Like Speed Dating and Flirtable. The Speed Dating is the best I’m told. Get a web camera for you comp if you don’t have one.

  17. Steve @ How to Court a Girl on April 20th, 2012 9:40 pm

    Everyone deserves a shot at courtship and love, whether you are in your midlife or younger. And agree with you that having a mentor will help, especially if you have not been dating for a while.

  18. Ekaterina on June 20th, 2012 5:28 pm

    Thank you Rhonda the Maven.
    I liked your article, I learned a lot of new and useful things.
    Thank you
    Katya